Paid Family Leave and the "Family Act"

Here's one of my lovely little political posts. 

I belong to a PAC called Moms Rising.  It is comprised of progressively-minded mothers (and those who love them!) who want to fight for what is best for our families - not only from an individual standpoint, but from a standpoint of making this country a better place so that we all can benefit.

Today I found information from them about an upcoming act that is being presented to Congress - the Family Act.

It will work to secure paid family leave - including paid maternity leave.  You can read more about it and sign on here.

Did you know that the US is one of only four countries that don't offer paid leave to new mothers?

Did you know that the US is one of only seven countries that don't GUARANTEE paid leave to new mothers?  The others are Papua New Guinea, Suriname, Nauru, Palau, Samoa and Tonga.

Seriously?

I was talking about this with a friend the other day.  We were talking about how in many other countries that we would consider similar in many ways, there is amazing leave.  A friend of mine in Canada just had a baby and she got 6 months of paid leave, and the option to take 6 more without it.  Plus, her husband got three months paid leave.  THREE MONTHS WHERE BOTH PARENTS WERE HOME TO CARE FOR THEIR CHILDREN AND ESTABLISH THOSE IMPORTANT BONDS AND SKILLS TO CREATE A POSITIVE FAMILY.

When I had my daughter a year ago, I quit my job.  I was an 'hourly manager' at a restaurant and since the FLMA requires 12 weeks of UNPAID leave with only a guarantee to return to a similar position, I was told I could probably end up back working as a hostess, server or some other place that was hourly, but not necessarily equivalent.  I was working for a large chain that has plenty of resources and ability to
do more for me, but nope - at the end of the day, I was just another expendable body.

Now - before I am labeled as a crazy woman, please note.  I get it.  I understand that this is a capitalist society.  We live in a culture where life is driven by money.  (Sucks, doesn't it?  But that's a fact, so there's no working around it.)  We see paid family leave and we think of loss of income and revenue, we see people taking advantage of the support, and we see no positive outcomes.

Well, yes.  It may hurt for a bit.  But here's what we will get in the end -
happier employees.  Happier employees perform better on the job.  They also stay with companies longer because they have more sense of loyalty.  Better performing employees and increased employee tenure with less turnaround make for increased profits, income and revenue. 

I like that!  And so should we.  Paid family leave is NOT a bad thing, and it will help - not hurt.
I know that we seem to think in terms of immediacy - we always look at the NOW rather than the long run.  Amazon.com was featured on 60Minutes the other night and one of their high ranking employees (I don't remember if it was the CEO or such) said that he wasn't worried about the 2-3 year gain, but more about the 6-7 year gain.  They can sell some of their products AT COST (Kindle Fire), and they can have lower prices, because in the long run they'll have customer loyalty and people who go to them first, because they like the experience they get with Amazon.  Well, it's true.  I'm a member of Amazon Prime and have been for years.
So  why not invest in employees the same way Amazon invests in consumers?
Look at companies that do good things for their employees - look at SAS and at Costco and many others.  They're doing well!  And part of it is because they take care of their staff.

So please - go to the link above, write your congresspeople and SUPPORT the Family Act!

A Remarkable Life - In Memory of Nelson Mandela

I've been chewing on this post for a day now, and I'm going to keep it simple.

Nelson Mandela led a remarkable life.  There are few among us who can truly say that.  When he had every reason to hate, he chose to love.  When he had every reason to give up, he pursued.  When he had every reason to deny, his belief flourished.

Not many of us work to make the world a better place.  We often think that one person cannot make a difference.

It is not true.

Yet we must also remember that this man was a man full of fire- he was loud, opinionated and at times, harsh.  He called people out publicly and voiced his concerns for the world to hear.  He used his position of power and respect to make people listen.  He often - and I mean often - criticized the United States.  He could be abrupt and sharp-tongued. 

But through this all - he never stopped fighting for what he thought was right.  He was a good man - faults and all - and he worked tirelessly to make the world a better place.  Those opinions of his were not always popular - support labor unions, terrorists deserve due process too, America is still a largely racist country - but he knew that popular or not, he believed what he was saying needed to be said.  I would agree.

He was a remarkable man.  

One of Donald Miller's books is called "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years" and in much of it he teaches readers to have a better story.  Make your life remarkable.

So today, let us commit or recommit ourselves to working for the greater good, and loving others by Loving Others.  Use your words and your actions to teach others how to work for the greater good. 

Here are some of Mandela's memorable words:

This sounds nice at first - but it is also largely a criticism.  Are we able to admit that we need this sort of instruction and criticism to make the world a better place?

 After nearly three decades in prison:  "As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn't leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I'd still be in prison."

 On fighting for democracy around the world:  "To be free is not merely to cast off one's chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others."

 He always stood for those who were 'lowly' and never believed anyone could not accomplish great things:  "Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world."

 On acceptance of others:  “I came to accept that I have no right whatsoever to judge others in terms of my own customs.” 

On his work bringing South Africa together again:   "Reconciliation means working together to correct the legacy of past injustice.” 

 A statement he made of himself and others:   “When a man has done what he considers to be his duty to his people and his country, he can rest in peace.”

And so I wish for you, Mr. Mandela.  You did, and I pray that you will indeed rest in peace.

Celebrations

If you know me, you know how much I love Christmas.  It's a little ridiculous, actually.  I go all out.  Multiple trees, new linens all over the house, decorations always in one's eyeline.

I'm also a bit of a Christmas purist though.  I love it so much, I try to keep it special.  No Christmas until the day after Thanksgiving.  But then it's full steam ahead!  It's such a short time of year that I like to squeeze as much out of it as I can.

This year, Thanksgiving was late.  Nov. 28th!  Lots of people were breaking my absolute rule of bringing Christmas out early - and even I was 'getting the itch' too much.

And then Thanksgiving came.  It was a lovely day.  My parents were down from North Carolina and we got to celebrate with lots of great people that day.  Two dinners, one with my family and one with my husband's.  Our daughter was worn out by the end of the day, but with so many people who love her around, she could hardly be still.  I truly am blessed and spent much of the day basking in the beauty of the gifts God has given me.

Here we are at Thanksgiving - we were all in orange - partly because of the holiday, but partly because it is our favourite colour!

So!  The next day comes - and I don't get down all my Christmas decorations, I don't decorate the house and I don't go buy a tree.  I don't bake cookies. I don't do ANYTHING Christmas-y except put on some music.  I spend the day preparing for my daughter's first birthday party!

Paisley was born on December 4th, 2012.  So this year, for her first birthday, we decided to pick a date for her party when my parents would still be in town.  Luckily they both got the first Sunday of Advent off of work (they're both pastors) - a rare occurrence!  So even though many people were traveling and couldn't make it, we had the party two days after Thanksgiving on November 30th!  And many more people came than I expected - and it is a VERY good thing more didn't come!  More on that later....

It was a wonderful party, if I do say so myself.  I knew that a little kid with a lot of people around could only survive so much, so we scheduled it only to last 1.5 hours.  Good thing too!  She woke up from a nap just before and was in a pleasant mood.  She was passed around from friend to friend during the party and we played a game with the older kids for a bit.

Paisley and James

But then we looked at the sky and the 10% chance of rain was starting to look like a bit more.... so quick, to cake and ice cream!
Paisley had a blast eating her cupcake and ice cream, and of course, got SO messy.  Adorable though - I can't complain ;)

And then... RAIN!  Just like that.  Gotta love the Miami rain - one minute it's sunny and the next - downpour!  Quick!  Get everyone in the house!  People grabbed gifts and food and we ran inside in one of the best examples of group cooperation I've seen in my lifetime. 

We live in a fairly moderate house..  About 1600 square feet.  Well.... try fitting the 40 or so people into my living/dining room combination.  OY.  We were packed.  Paisley was soaked from rain, and covered in cake.  So we did a wardrobe change and I asked if people, squashed like sardines in a tin can, wanted to call it a day or open presents.  PRESENTS from all the kids and 'presents' from the adults meant we went ahead and opened gifts in our tight quarters.

Paisley is so blessed to have such loving family and friends and I was again reminded of how wonderful God has been to us. 

People left after gifts and my father was able to pawn off the leftover cake and cupcakes onto guests as they left so that I didn't have temptation staring me in the face all week long.  Hooray!

My parents left on Sunday night and Sunday we finally got our decorations down.  I've been slowly putting them up all week, with more to come - (a post on this later!).

Wednesday was Paisley's actual birthday and we had fun.  She was cranky all day - but hey - she's one and that's not unusual!  For dinner that night we had friends over and it was great.

In the end, this time of year, so full of celebrations, reminds me again and again just how incredible I have it.  There are so many in this world who don't have the ability to have a party for their child, a family to be with on Thanksgiving, a place to go to get out of the rain, and a home to decorate.

This season, please take the time to count your blessings!
And as Bing Crosby sings in my favourite Christmas movie "White Christmas"...

"When I'm worried and I can't sleep,I count my blessings instead of sheep, and I fall asleep counting my blessings. When my bankroll is getting small, I think of when I had none at all, and I fall asleep counting my blessings.

I think about a nursery, and I picture curly heads, and one by one I count them as they slumber in their beds.

If you're worried and you cant sleep, just count your blessings instead of sheep and you'll fall asleep counting your blessings. "

We al have much to be thankful for, and many blessings to count.  

True Communication

I received some good news this morning.  My parents, who live in North Carolina, are planning on coming for Thanksgiving.  The good news is that they're coming an extra day early now!  They'll be here in just a few short days.  I'm so happy about this.  I love my parents very much and I miss them quite a lot.  Being far away is hard, but we do get to visit a few times a year.  Yet now there is more excitement in spending time with my family, which is that they get to spend time with my daughter.
If you have children, you know how much they grow.  And you know how FAST they grow.  So to know that my family is missing out on those sweet days is sad for me.  And I know it is sad for them too.

Thankfully, we have some great ways to keep in touch these days, thanks to technology.  Skype, phone calls, the ability to snap pictures and instantly send them to others for real time updates.  These things are fantastic to keep us together and help us stay close.

But then... you have to wonder....

Does it make us more distant, in some ways?  Do we not value our time together as much?

My parents met in college and were friends for a year or two, and really only started to date just before the summer of my mother's sophomore year.  My father, who was two years older, graduated and moved north - graduate school in Canada.  My mother transferred and finished her last two years of school at Florida State in Tallahassee.

Everyday, for two years, my parents wrote each other letters.  Hand written, with time set aside out of their days to dedicate to this person.  They couldn't call much because of the expense to call across so many lines and a national border.  They saw each other only for a few trips.  But their letters were beautiful.  Honest, loving, and at times almost boring with the mundane details of a day that had little significance. But still they wrote.  They wrote to include one another in their daily lives, even from a distance and even if the information would arrive a few days late.

It is no surprise that we are losing the art of genuine communication. Go to a restaurant and look around - you'll spot more than one table where no one is looking at the other people, but instead at their phones.  Young people who have grown up in the texting generation show poor aptitude for grammar and proper syntax.  Many don't even know that there are supposed to be two spaces after a period, because a phone requires only one.

We also don't know how to look each other in the eye anymore.  We'd rather relegate uncomfortable conversations to distant vehicles - an email to end a relationship, a letter to remove someone from a job position.  Uncomfortable silences are almost unbearable now, and we turn to a distraction quickly.

Don't get me wrong - I'm a total technology junkie.  But I know its place, and I know that it does not, nor should it ever, stand in for real human interaction.

So let's all take a moment today and PUT DOWN THE CELL PHONES, and have a genuine, honest conversation with someone we care about.  And when you next see your loved ones, give them a big ol' hug, because there's no technological subsitute for touch.  :)

Recipe - Homemade Macaroni and Cheese

I didn't intend to be posting from a negative head space today, but there you have it.  I've had a really awful day.  It's been lousy, awful, terrible, horrible and sad.  The worst part is, today is a Thursday, and Tuesday was awful too.  Wednesday was almost perfect.  I have ridden an emotional roller coaster of record heights in the past few days.

So, what do I tend to do when I am grumpy?  Well... based on the title of this post, you'll probably say, "She must cook and take out all of her frustrations in her food!  How 'Like Water for Chocolate!'".  Alas, I am not THAT mother, wife, or woman.

Instead, I play video games.  I fool around.  I read.  I ignore responsibility (like the real estate class I'm supposed to be doing right now).  I am the ultimate emotional flake - when I'm down, my agenda follows.
So then, what does that have to do with dinner?

It means that lazy me continues and I don't bother getting anything out for dinner, or using time to make something to pop into the oven.  I love to cook, and I love creating food, but when I'm feeling low, all I want to do is veg out.

So then it comes to be 6pm and my husband calls and says he's on his way home from work.  Whoops.  Dinner's just... not even existing yet.

So there you have it.

Luckily, I have a few fail safe meals tucked away that require very little, if no prep work and are quick and easy to whip up.

And here enters my homemade Macaroni and Cheese!

This recipe has full credit to my mother who taught this to me.

Plus, it doesn't hurt that this is an epic comfort food and can make even a bad day just a bit more delicious.

So when you're in need of a rushed meal or just don't feel like finding your inner chef, here's a good recipe to pull out of your little bag of tricks.

Enjoy!

~Emmie~

Homemade Macaroni And Cheese
This recipe is based around a white sauce.  I don't usually add very much salt because cheese is so salty, but also because when cooking with salt, the flavour usually gets lost with the heat and you end up with all the sodium and little of the flavour.  I prefer to salt just before eating if I need that little extra taste.  Baking this dish also provides a little extra texture to what could be just a mushy dish.
I love to serve this with spinach - most of the time on the side, but it can be really tasty to mix it together also.  The slight bitter taste to spinach pairs excellently with this creamy dish. 

Ingredients:
1 16oz Box of Pasta (your choice, though I prefer something that can really grab in hunks of the cheesy sauce, like medium shells)
3tbsp butter
3 tbsp flour
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
1 1/4 C milk
2-3 C shredded EXTRA SHARP cheddar cheese, depending on how cheesy you want it
Paprika

Preheat Oven to 350 degrees.
Boil water and add pasta.  Cook until just al dente - not any longer.  When finished cooking, drain and place pasta in oven-safe cooking dish.

While pasta is cooking:
In microwave safe bowl, melt butter for 1 min on high.
Mix in flour, and microwave for 1 min on high.
Add salt and pepper, stir.
Add milk.
Microwave on high for 1 min, stir, then microwave on high again for 1 minute and stir again.
Add 2/3 of cheese to sauce and mix well.  Microwave on high for 90 seconds.
The sauce should be easy to pour but not thin.  More milk will thin it out, more flour will thicken it.

Pour the sauce over the pasta and mix in well.  Top with remaining cheese and sprinkle paprika on top.

Bake at 350 for 10-15 minutes.